Gyros! Don’t forget the Tzatziki, and bring your brick.

I’m baaaack . . .

The fog has began to lift and I’m realizing, “Oh my goodness, back there . . .  just a little bit ago this virus was hugging my brain and I didn’t even realize it”.  So, yes, I am feeling better and I’m starting to feel clear.  But, I’m not ready to cook.  I need for the aches and pains to go away before I’ll be ready to jump (carefully) into my kitchen.

Hubby was kind enough to put up my weekly fish recipe for me while I laid in bed pretending to comprehend the book I held in my hands.  And, by the way, I say “kind” with the loosest translation.   If you were lucky enough to see the picture of my azz that he posted for “the end” before I found it and quickly put the ix-nay on that picture, well, I’m sorry you all had to see that.  But, I do appreciate him not leaving you guys hanging, so for that I do thank him.

I haven’t made anything beyond some warmed-up chicken noodle soup and a couple of stale saltine crackers with peanut butter spread over them the last few days, but I before I got ill I finally got around to using some of the ground lamb I purchased to make Gyros.  If you haven’t made your own Gyros before I want to encourage you do so, they aren’t difficult (it’s a lot like making meatloaf), and you will feel like such a kitchen diva when you accomplish making these at home.  They do take a couple of hours (with 75 minutes of baking time and 15 minutes of resting time), so don’t try to start this recipe 30 minutes before dinner time or you’ll have a really ticked off dinner party.

If you have a rotisserie option on your grill (or one of those fancy small appliances) you can use it this to make your Gyros.  If not, all you’ll need is a brick.  Yes, I did say “a brick”.  The brick compresses the meat to make it more like the compressed meat they use for Gyros.  It’s a nifty trick (thanks Alton!) that works like a charm. 

Tzatziki (that’s the lovely cucumber sauce that they put over the top of your Gyros) is not an option here.  You could smear it all over just about anything (like those stale saltines I was talking about earlier) and I’d be one happy girl.  It’s the salsa of the Greek world and I personally want to eat it every day (Although I don’t think it originated in Greece, but in Turkey.  I could be wrong here – I’m sure you’ll let me know.)  So, you must make Tzatziki if you’re making Gyros, and you must make it well (don’t worry it’s not hard).  You’re going to need some pretty exotic kitchen tools though; namely, a coffee filter and a spoon or melon baller.  Also, I can honestly tell you that good dill makes all the difference between “What the heck is this crap?” and “OMG, does anyone have a big straw I could use to suck this stuff up and-no-you-aren’t-getting-any-so-back-the-flip-off.”  So throw out your old bottle of dill, and buy a new one.  You’re really going to be able to tell the difference here.  I typically add the 1/2 teaspoon of dill the recipe calls for, and then sprinkle some more over the top when I serve it.  

Tzatziki (Greek Cucumber Sauce)

Makes about 2 cups

2 cups plain yogurt (drained overnight in a coffee filter)
2 medium cucumbers, sliced in half, seeded and finely chopped
1/2 white onion, diced
1 tomato, seeded and diced
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 tablespoon lemon juice
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon dill
1 teaspoon oregano
1 garlic clove, minced

So, let’s get started.  Now, Greek yogurt is a thicker, denser product, than American yogurt.  If you can buy Greek yogurt in your area, go for it (you all know that I’m not going to find that here in Mid-Michigan, though).  If you are ingredient-challenged, as I am, then the first thing you should do is drain your yogurt.  Buy the plain white stuff and spoon it into a coffee filter.  Put the coffee filter in a strainer, suspending the strainer (or sieve) over a bowl.  Then, cover it with another coffee filter, or a paper towel, put something heavy (like a can) over it to apply pressure and put the whole contraption in the fridge for several hours (or overnight).  Once you’ve done this, your yogurt will be ready to use for Tzatziki.  When you take the yogurt out of the coffee filter it will be dry and a bit thick, and there should be a small puddle of water in the bowl that has drained off.

Next, chop your veggies and add them to the yogurt.

To prepare the cucumbers, slice them in half and peel them (if you desire, I don’t).  Use a spoon or a melon-baller to remove all of the seeds.  Then, flip them over on your cutting board and dice them in a fine small dice.

Gently mix the remaining ingredients together and cover in an airtight container.  It will keep for about 3 days like this.  Be sure and give it a good stir before serving.  Making your Tzatziki ahead of time and letting it chill in the fridge will give it a well developed flavor.

For the Gyros

2 pounds ground lamb, beef, or turkey (or a combination)
3 teaspoons ground oregano
1 teaspoon marjoram
2 teaspoons garlic powder
2 teaspoons onion powder
2 teaspoons salt
1 teaspoon pepper

Preheat the oven to 325 degrees.
Mix all ingredients together and place into a loaf pan.  Press the mixture into the sides of the loaf pan.

No, I really do not want to hear your smart alec comments about the gloves.  There’s germs in there.

Place the loaf pan inside a 9X13 pan (or another larger pan) and add water to to the larger pan to make a water bath.
Bake the loaf with the water bath for about 1 hour and 15 minutes, or until the internal temperature is 165 to 170 degrees.
Remove from the oven and drain the fat.
Use a brick wrapped in foil and place it directly on top of the meat.  Allow the meat to sit for 15 minutes.

Remove the meat from the pan and slice into thin slices.

Serve the Gyro meat in pita bread and top with Tzatziki sauce, onions, tomatoes, and cheese, if desired.

Note:  If you have a rotisserie, skip the directions for the loaf pan.  Make the loaf, wrap it in plastic wrap and refrigerate for several hours, to make it firm.  Then, just stick the chilled and firm meatloaf on the spit and cook it on medium-high for 35-45 minutes.

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